Online Dating: How to Keep the Conversation Going on "Bride online from Russia"
Okay, so you’ve succeeded the “first awkward contact” of online dating.
So what’s next?
The first few messages may make you tense up and sometimes would even make your toes curl out of nervousness. Don’t worry. This is normal, especially when you're really interested in that person. Eventually, this phase will end, and you will have to keep the conversation going when you wish to find a potential partner in an online dating site.
Keeping a conversation with the person you don't know yet may require more effort than you think. You will always want to look good and come out as positive so they won’t get bored. Remember to stay out of awkwardness from seeping into the conversation. In online dating, when you don’t see each other face-to-face, and they felt awkward, chances are they will want to slip away from you as soon as possible.
So, to keep a conversation going smoothly in the online dating world, there are things to keep in mind:
Ask open-ended questions
This is one way not just to keep the conversation going, but to also know the person deeply. Pay attention to their background stories and things they mention about their profile. What’s their job? Where are they from? What’s their passion? People love to talk about themselves. Start with light, simple questions and eventually move on to ask their opinions about specific topics - this way, you could get a clearer view of who they are. You could also answer questions with another question so the other person can respond with their own views.
You should be glad when someone asks you a mountain of questions. If they haven’t asked you even the basic ones, that could possibly be an indicator that they are self-absorbed. It is best if you just move on to the next one.
If the conversation is doing well, just remember to keep it fun and quirky. Don't take it too seriously, it’s not a job interview. Also, be sure to read their profile first. It may annoy them to answer questions that they clearly already answered in their profiles.
Another thing that also kills a conversation is when one person gives up. If only one person keeps asking the questions, then the other might just lose interest. Make sure both of you give and take. Dating online is a two-way relationship. If you want the relationship to develop, then both parties should make an effort and contribute to the conversation to keep it going.
Be genuinely interested
A person can easily feel better in your company knowing that you’re interested in them. It makes them feel at ease and be happier to talk with you. If you show some interest, they will want to hang out with you more often and want to talk to you even more. This is a surefire technique which works 99% of the time.
Lines like “Wow! Interesting”, “oh, that’s so cool!”, or “really? I’ve never heard of that”. Similar expressions will show them that you’re listening and this will definitely flatter them. Do your best to look like you're focused on them and by all means, avoid getting distracted. Distractions may annoy and offend the person you’re talking to.
Being genuinely interested in them will make them feel you’re happy to learn about them. If you’re not, they will eventually notice it. Be sure to stay attentive to what they’re saying and make sure you react accordingly.
If you’re really interested with the person, make an extra effort to understand them until you’re genuinely interested in their whole being.
Yes, sure, people love to talk about themselves to other people. But too much of this might just make you appear as being self-absorbed. Mix up some of your stories with experiences of other people you know - this could be from someone you know, a story you came across through the radio, magazine, internet, and more. It’s good to be sharing things that you find interesting. People prefer to talk with someone who is open and can share just about anything. You'll also get to discover if they are just as interested in the subjects you find interesting.
Be sure to use these stories at the right moment. Check if it connects to whatever you are currently talking about. Blurting about some weird news you came across on the internet in an appropriate moment can be a major turn off.
Talk about the common factor
According to science, humans are easily attracted to people who are similar to them. It’s in our nature. One of the wonderful feelings in online dating is when you find out both of you have something in common. This may be a sport, a hobby, passion, perspective, and much more! This will greatly upgrade your relationship quickly.
Talking about the common factor will make both parties feel more comfortable with each other. We find ourselves adjusting to them much more naturally. You talk about this common thing and eventually find yourselves getting deeper into the conversation unconsciously since the topic is something that you can go on with without thinking about so much.
Also, common factors are a great ice breaker when you meet in person.
Gradually get your flirt game on
Flirting should be done slower online compared in person. The other person can’t see you and the signals you intend to send. This should also be done after you've both talked enough. Showing hints of flirting should be appropriately timed to avoid the relationship from going downhill.
Compliments are a decent hint to make them feel your flirtatious ways. Saying something nice about them will make them warm up to you even more. Just remember to not immediately compliment as it may seem creepy and make you look desperate. Nothing kills a conversation and mood early on like going over the boundaries.
Be true to yourself
Don’t ever stretch the truth just to cover up your flaws. Eventually, the person you’re talking to will ask questions about you. Staying honest is important. We don’t mean to share your deepest darkest secret, but whatever information you’re comfortable with sharing, always make sure you’re being honest.
It’s unavoidable for humans to have flaws. Every single one of us has flaws or at least something we don’t like about ourselves. One way to be honest and share your flaws is to make a joke about it. They might even open up to you and also share theirs. This is much better so there won't be any special surprises when you meet up in person.
Also, people actually have strong instincts and may immediately feel if you’re lying about something. Remember, the truth will always come out, and if it does, it usually affects relationships negatively. On the other hand, when the person feels your genuine honesty, it usually ends well, and they will want to keep on talking to you. Staying true to yourself and sticking to integrity always turn out to be the best route.
Ask when you can continue your conversation
Conversations eventually end, but it only should by the end of the day, and it shouldn’t always be forever. If you’re really interested in the person, tell them you had fun talking and by all means, you would like to get more chances of talking to them again. If the person agrees, then consider that you’re totally in and something may blossom between the two of you.
When you feel that the person also had fun talking to you, then be sure to find a way to keep in touch with them. Plan out something more cozy and personal. If you’re both busy, let’s say with your own jobs, agree on a date and time.
Online messages, even if you’re having fun with it, don’t actually push your luck to level up on the relationship. Check when you think your virtual relationship should already take the next level and step into reality. Meeting face-to-face, feeling their touch, and hearing their voice in person will definitely improve the relationship.
Bonus Tip: How long should the conversation keep going before asking for a first date?
The goal of the tips provided to keep a conversation going is to eventually get her on a date or get him to ask you on a date. So it's essential that everything you say contributes to keeping the conversation moving forward. But when exactly is the appropriate time for you to ask for a date?
Well, this is entirely up to you and your gut feeling. You are in a position to get the feel of what’s the standing of your relationship. But don’t wait for the steam to run out before you ask the person for a date. When you haven’t asked them within seven days of talking, and you both send only 2 or 3 messages daily, then expect the relationship to go downhill. Aim to build momentum continuously and seek more knowledge that may help you improve your chances of success in the online dating world.